Oladipo Ademola Esq

The first time I learnt Qbasic, I was so excited that when I got home, I wrote “INPUT ‘PRESS THE BELL’” at our doorbell. And at the buzzer, I wrote “OUTPUT: RIING! RING!!”.

My dad got home and changed my input to “PLEASE PRESS THE BELL”. That was my first lesson in User Interaction Engineering

Every day, I dread 9pm. Actually, I dread watching the program Gulder Ultimate Search. The initial show was interesting because it had a vision (and was fresh). Every iteration after that has been as appalling as the worst adjective that appalling can describe. This last edition, “The Lost Chronicles” is the worst of bunch.

They actually selected 10 people out of 25,000 to spend a couple of days in the jungle. Doing what? Trying out activities achievable by my siblings in the nursery school. And those guys and ladies actually find it difficult.

Imagine a jungle scene with a bright light shining on your face. And you are supposed to be scared? Or they ask you to go find something, how can you not find it when there is a camera man standing there to film you coming. Gulder ultimate Search was a novel idea. I use “was” because that is what it is. A past (dead?) novel idea.

They need to inject fresh ideas into the series, not just making it a marketing platform for the launch of a new gulder product or the revealing of a re-branded product.

How about nationwide searches for clues that will enable them select the final contestants? How about an actual search during the program? How about pitching ten people against each other instead of grouping them. After all, it is for an ultimate person not an ultimate group.

Am categorizing this under jokes, because, in my honest opinion, it fits

http://www.neowin.net/forum/index.php?showtopic=615824

^^ source of joke

Two guys meet up in a bar. The first one asks, “Did your hear the news – Mike is dead??!!!”

“Whoah, what the happened to him?”

“Well he was on his way over to my house the other day and when he arrived outside the house he didn’t brake properly and boom – He hit the curb, the car flipped over and he crashed through the sunroof – Went flying through the air and smashed through my upstairs bedroom window.”

“What a horrible way to die!”

“No no, he survived that, that didn’t kill him at all. So, he’s landed in my upstairs bedroom and he’s all covered in broken glass on the floor. Then, he spots the big old antique wardrobe we have in the room and reaches up for the handle to try to pull himself up. He’s just dragging himself up when bang, this massive wardrobe comes crashing down on top of him, crushing him and breaking most of his bones.”

“What a way to go, that’s terrible!”

“No no, that didn’t kill him — he survived that. He managed to get the wardrobe off him and crawls out onto the landing, he tries to pull himself up on the banister but under his weight, the banister breaks and he goes falling down on to the first floor. In mid air, all the broken banister poles spin and fall on him, pinning him to the floor, sticking right through him.”

“Now that is the most unfortunate way to go!”

“No no, that didn’t kill him, he even survived that. So he’s on the downstairs landing, just beside the kitchen. He crawls in to the kitchen, tries to pull himself up on the stove, but reached for a big pot of boiling hot water, whoosh, the whole thing came down on him and burned him all up.”

“Man, what a way to go!”

“No no, he survived that, he survived that! He’s lying on the ground, covered in boiling water and he spots the phone and tries to pull himself up, to call for help, but instead he grabs the light switch and pulls the whole thing off the wall and the water and electricity didn’t mix and so he got electrocuted, wallop, 10,000 volts shot through him.”

“Now that is one awful way to go!”

“No no, he survived that…”

“Hold on now, just how the heck did Mike die?”

“I shot him.”

“You shot him? What the heck did you shoot him for?”

“The man was destroying my house!”